I was 18. I wasn’t ready. This came at a point where I was excited, happy, animated and I thought I was ready. In fact I thought I was more than ready. With all the family issues daunting me at the time I wanted to run to my salvation, to get away with a clean slate, as far as I could.
You see we are all wrong; we all talk about a dramatic entrance when it’s all about the dramatic exit.
I had my family, I had my friends and I had my girlfriend with me. I could have stayed in touch with them right? New age technology allows for that so easily. I wasn’t really losing them so why should I not be excited for what’s to come. I traveled a lot every summer but never stayed away from home for more than 3 weeks and only once had I ever gone to Canada. A new land to conquer!
Boy was I wrong. Boy was I scared.
Not only could I not escape anything that I was trying to run from but also now I no longer had my support system to help me through it. Skype wasn’t enough to save me from crying myself to sleep at nights. I couldn’t let my girlfriend bare through this as a by-stander helplessly. Making her feel inadequate. I was alone. Not because I chose to be but because I needed to be.
I lived an entire year, my first year in university on Skype. My mind was on how great it would be to be back home soaking up the sun and partying. Being with my girlfriend. An entire year of wishing I was somewhere else. Looking back I would never wish that on anybody else. Don’t torture yourself like I did. I needed to face my problems in the present and not be living in the past.
THANKFULLY I did/am!
Entering my second year I had no patience for this problem I had over my head for an entire year. I needed to stop running and deal with it. Only half way through the year had my persistence shown fruitful. I lost everything to build back a new something. I will explain in later posts what I mean by this but my point of all of this is; home is where the heart is. I spent a crucial year for me wishing I were somewhere I spent the year before wishing I wasn’t. Ottawa must be a great city and I will keep you updated on how much it is as soon as I start living here. I just left home.